Bottled Up

Professional help for people who live with an alcoholic

Living With an Alcoholic?

We are here to help you

Lou  is a therapist but she was married to an alcoholic so she knows how you feel because she has experienced it all first hand. Find out more about Lou

John is a Dr of psychology but 30 years ago he was given six months to live because of his alcoholism and drug use.  He knows what goes on the alcoholic’s head.  Find out more about John

"it's like someone reached into my life, my brain, my very existence and watched and heard it all as a fly on the wall. The common sense you empower the family of the drinker with is invaluable."  CE Bottled Up Member 2015

Information for the Families of Alcoholics

Join Bottled Up

We (Lou and John) created this unique resource for you and people like you. 

We want to help you to understand the dynamics of living with an alcoholic.  How many times have you asked yourself, your friends, doctor, questions like:-

  • Why does she drink like that? 
  • Why won’t he change? 
  • Why does he lie? 
  • Why can’t she admit he is an alcoholic?
  • How can he say he loves me and drink the way he does? 
  • What should I tell the children?
You can find the answers to these and many other questions in the Member's Section of Bottled Up

I love this program. I've learned so much about myself, and about my husband's issue on this site. You've really done well and provided some great help for a lot of people. I think you both should feel very good about that!   Anne Bottled Up Member 2014

Practical Help for the Families of Alcoholics

Join Bottled Up

Bottled Up is not just about information (great though the information is).  No, Bottled Up is about giving you the tools to make your life better.  We understand how powerless you feel and want to empower you, to help you take charge of your life and help yourself, your family and your drinker.  We want to:-

  • Show you how to start empowering yourself
  • Give you insight into the mind of the alcoholic
  • Equip you with strategies to make your life better
  • Introduce you to a support network of people in the same position
  • Present you with a new, more useful method, of looking at alcohol problems
  • Teach you about the psychological principles of behaviour change and how you can you can use them with your drinker.

Professional Help for Families of Alcoholics

Personal experience is powerful and Lou and John share their experience openly and freely.  However, Lou and John also bring impressive professional credentials, so you know that you are in safe hands.

Lou has been a therapist with her own private practice for over 20 years, but she was married to an alcoholic until he died of cancer.  So she knows the joys, the pain, the bewilderment, the frustration and the anger that you feel because she has experienced it all. more about Lou

John is a psychologist who wrote and taught a masters course on addiction.  He trained alcohol counsellors, psychologists and GPs how to treat alcoholics.  But 30 years ago he was given six months to live because of his alcoholism and drug use.  He has been clean and sober since and knows what it's like to be an alcoholic and how the alcoholic thinks.  more about John

Who Should Join Bottled Up?

You should join Bottled Up

  • If you live with an alcoholic and feel frustrated, angry, sad, frightened and at the end of your tether
  • If you still love your drinker (although some days you may feel you hate him). Find out more about the dillema of loving the alcoholic.
  • If you want that person that you chose to spend your life with to come back into your life but find that his other drunken self is spending too much time in your life instead.
  • If you feel a sense of shame that you are living with a drinker
  • If you find that you are becoming increasingly socially isolated
  • If you just want help, support or information about living with alcoholism
  • If you want strategies that will empower you to take control of your life

If you fit any or all of these criteria then come and join us in Bottled Up – We can help.

How We Can Help You

 We first created Bottled Up in 2008 because we recognised that there was a lack of help and support for the partners and families of alcoholics.  Living with an alcoholic is a complex situation and it is not helped in any way by the common (and ignorant) advice that just says get out, run, dump him/her.

What we have found, both from our own experience and years of helping others is that most of the people who live with an alcoholic still love their drinker but hate the drinking.

Bottled Up has a program that empowers and supports you allowing you to step out of the isolation that comes from the shame of living with an alcoholic.  Living with an alcoholic is hard, it doesn't need to be faced alone!

You will learn you how to deal with your emotions, anger, frustration, bewilderment.  Also you will learn why some of the normal strategies that you would use in a relationship to change things just don't work.  But we won't just leave you there, we will show you some new strategies that are much more effective. 

These are stratgies that you won't find anywhere else.  They are unique to Bottled Up.

I turned to Bottled Up in November of last year at a time when I was feeling completely out of my depth, powerless and desperate. Today I don't feel like that - in no small part because of the community and wealth of advice and literature (a lot in video form as well) that I found on the website.  BN Bottled Up Member 2015

Join Bottled Up

When people join Bottled Up they find a community that is supportive, a community where they don't have to explain themselves or apologise or feel ashamed.  They find information about their alcoholic that is practical and helpful.  They find a program that, if they follow it will change their life.

Are you ready to change your life?

The cost is small $10 (£7) a month or $60 (£40) for a year.  You would find it difficult to get a single session with a therapist for that kind of money.

I have just signed up to your website 'bottled up' yesterday and listened this morning to your introductory audio. I felt that I just needed to make contact to thank you for this fabulous supportive resource which has inspired me with hope that things can get better.  S. Bottled Up Member 2016

For more members comments click here

To Join Bottled Up

Free Ebook

Sign Up for a Free Ebook of tips from our members and a Newsletter of articles and advice.


We have two books for sale, one for the drinker and one for the partner. 

You can get them at Books for Sale

10 Simple Changes

Sometimes small changes can have very large effects but you just don't know where to start.  So we have created a series of 10 audios each one describing in detail a change that could make your life much more comfortable.  They discuss topics such as Rekindling Love, Detachment, Dealing with Emotions.

You can find them at 10 Simple Changes

Lou's Music

For many years Lou was a singer/songwriter (she is a classically trained musician).  She has made 7 albums, 5 of them solo albums.  Because of the beautiful music and the highly personal lyrics people have commented on how therapeutic her music is.

You can hear extracts from her most popular album here - Healing Stream

All material copyright Lou Lewis and John McMahon © 2016

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